When Those Times Come
by proudtobeamerican18
Summary: When everything seems perfect and life is becoming exactly what you always dreamed of with the one that you love, would the loss of something precious strengthen the bond or shatter it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Sue Thomas F., they belong to Pax and Pebblehut.

Kind of a long first chapter, but please read it and let me know what you think anyways!

"How does he know this place anyway?" Jack asked over the phone, leaning forward for a better look out of the windshield as he turned the car left sharply, trying to concentrate on what he was doing while following Demetrius's dark SUV in front of him.

Sue gave a small gasp of surprise at his side, but he could hear two voices laughing childishly from behind him and he smiled a little when Sue slapped his arm and insisted that he slow down.

"I don't know, mate," Bobby replied over the phone as he drove in the dark car behind Jack. "He said that he and Donna used to bring the kids. Do you think he has us lost in this little maze...I haven't seen a lake once?"

"Who knows? We'll find somewhere," Jack answered and then hung up, placing his cellphone back in the cupholder below the dashboard.

"Jackson Hudson," Sue said, grabbing the handbar above her head as the SUV bounced over another lump in the old concrete road. "If you don't slow down with my children in this car, I'll kill you!"

Jack looked to the left and smiled at her annoyed expression and then glanced at the back seat in the rearview mirror as the playful laughter continued and he saw their two small boys playing battle with their G.I. Joe men, the pink and brown carseat cradle in between them still strapped securely to the long seat.

"Hunny, we're only going thirty," Jack reasoned, after taking her hand in his and kissing it softly, but hitting the brakes to slow down to twenty anyway. "Besides, Bobby said that Demetrius just called him and we should be there any minute."

Sue nodded her approval at feeling the speed change and turned around in her seat to talk to her children. Their small four-year-old twin boys were chattering to each other happily, but Sue still found it difficult to determine what their lips were saying without the luxury of direct one-on-one conversation with them and the small amount of signs that she and Jack had managed to teach them.

"Hey," she said in a mischevious whisper to get the boys attention, then transformed the fingers on both hands for each boy to read. I LOVE YOU.

The boys faces went from excited playful smiles to childish concentration in a second, both identical faces showing their efforts to remember the sign. Robby, on the left, thought of it first and Sue saw him call to his brother. Demetrius's face lit up then both boys turned back to Sue, awkwardly forming thier tiny fingers into their mother's language.

LOVE M-O-M-M-Y, they both managed after a few moments of attempt. When Sue smiled in approval, they both laughed again and pressed their hands to their mouths to blow wet kisses.

Smiling, Sue leaned around the corner of her seat a little more, pulling her seatbelt restraint out for some room, to look in the carseat cradle. Pulling back the retractable sun vizor, she peeped to see their newest member of the family.

"Emmaline's asleep," Sue informed her husband, turning back around to sit. "You remembered the sunscreen, didn't you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Jack said with another smile, his cellphone pressed to his other ear where Sue had not seen it before. "It's in the blue bag with the towels."

Sue nodded silently as Jack finished his conversation with whomever he was talking to and Jack snapped the phone shut again a few seconds later. She felt the warmth of his hand on hers and she turned back from her scrutiny of the forest and shrubbery out the window to look at Jack. His eyes darted back and forth between her and the windshield, a small smile pulling his lips upward.

Sue felt her heart do the crazy fluttering that it always did at the small moments like this and found herself smiling back. The SUV went over another small bump and Jack pulled his hand away quickly to take the wheel under better control. Watching Demetrius and Donna's car in front of them beginning to pull to a halt, Sue leaned her neck forward for a better view and felt her breath catch a little at the sight that was afforded her.

"Oh, my goodness, Jack," she breathed, resting a hand on his knee to gain his attention. "It's beautiful."

YES, Jack agreed, moving his hand into her view near the dashboard, knowing that she would not see his lips.

He pulled the vehicle to a stop beside Demetrius's family and car and waited for Bobby to park his car on their other side before opening the door.

"This lake, Daddy?" one of the twins asked and Jack turned to see Demetrius out of his seat and wrapped around the back of the drivers' seat with his arms and legs.

"Yes, this is the lake," Jack answered, opening his door as Sue went about situating grabbing anything from the car that they might need.

Both boys screamed their shrill happiness and began bouncing in what little space of floorboard there was between the back and front seats. Jack stepped out onto the pavement and pulled open the door for the kids.

"Well, well, well, mate," Bobby said, closing his car door behind him. "Aren't we just the picture of the common married man...living the family life? You got the beautiful wife, the twin rascals, and a lovely little girl," Bobby continued to joke, stepping forward when Sue rounded the back of the SUV holding Emmaline's carrier, the one-year-old now awake. He quickly unstrapped the restraints in the carseat carrier and swooped the child up in his arms and kissed her smiling cheeks. "You just belong on the cover of some heart-health magazine, don't you?...No pun intented...well, ok...maybe a little."

"Hey, do me favor, Crash, and shut up just a little bit," Jack joked absently, watching as Robby and Dem began chasing the elder Demetrius and his family down a trail towards the shore as Donna waved to them to follow. "Boys! Be careful and do whatever Uncle D. and Aunt Donna tell you to, ok?"

"Here," Sue interrupted with a laugh at the grown mens' banter, reaching for Emmaline. "Let me take Emma and the bags...and you two can bring the lunch things."

"Oh-ho! Not a chance, my dearest, Mrs. Hudson!" Bobby objected, raising Emmaline in the air with both hands, well out of Sue's reach. "You can't have this little princess back, not yet! Sparky and I can get the groceries just fine...don't you worry your little head, shiela. I got this little shiela-looks just like her mum, yes she does!" Bobby brought the child closer to his face and baby-talked her, causing loud screams of unperfected laughter to erupt from the small babe.

Sue shrugged and smiled, grabbing one red bag of toys for the kids to play with and the blue bag of towels and sun protection. Bobby rounded the back of the car and opened the hatch, still completely distracted by his one-sided coversation with the small girl with blonde waves and a little pink bathing suit. Sue turned to follow the trail that they others had taken, but felt Jack hold her back for a moment.

"Just in case I don't get to for a while," Jack promised before pressing her against the car door softly and caressed her lips with his. He was not sure why, after taking the liberty of kissing her so many times for little less than five, every one still made his lungs quite breathing and his insides hesitate, lest they should ruin the effect. Pulling away after a moment or two, Jack could see the same breathlessness in Sue's eyes when they opened and her lips turned into a smile.

"Jumping koalas, Emma! Sheild your eyes!" Bobby cried, shutting the back of Jack's SUV, but moving on towards where Jack and Sue stood. He dropped the largest cooler in his free hand on the ground beside Jack and continued past them down the trail, a medium sized cooler being shifted from his baby-bearing arm to his other. "Mummy and Daddy have gone bloody crazy!"

Jack smiled and reached down for the ice filled container with both hands and heaved it into his grip. Following Sue towards the trail, he watched as his wife waved to the others on the amazingly empty shore. Her blonde waves fell over her shoulders and down her back, partially covering her light pink cover-up dress that showed the slightest highlight of her black one-piece bathing suit with the low back beneath. Speeding up a little to catch up with her, Jack moved the cooler into his left hand and pulled a bag off of Sue's shoulder and onto his own so that he could pull Sue closer in his arm.

"Jack!" Demetrius called from the picnic pit that was built into the shore, surrounded by long wooden beams on all four corners. "Where's Lucy, Tara, and Myles? They were right behind us on the interstate."

Sue squeezed Jack's hand softly then reclaimed the bag from his shoulder, breaking away in the opposite direction to join Donna and the children at the water edge. Jack watched her briefly before turning back to where Demetrius and Bobby sat; Donna was holding the twins' hands, letting them put their small feet in the cool water and the boys were laughing hysterically.

"They called a little while ago," Bobby answered for him from his perch on the picnic table where Emmaline was now playing horsey on his bouncing knee. "Apparently Myles missed a turn and wouldn't listen to Lucy and Tara when they told him. They only called when they ended up in some small town called Winoka."

"That's thirty miles out of the way," Demetrius said, his brows furrowed in sheer disbelief. "Why didn't they use the GPS coordinates that Myles insisted on having?"

"They said something about Tara spilling a soda on the paper," Jack finished, noticing Demetrius's confused look. "They called us, too, when Crash didn't have the directions that you gave us in case we got lost. I gave them to them about an hour ago, so they should be here any minute."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these lovely characters except for the ones unfamiliar with the show.

"I hate Winoka!" Lucy's annoyed voice could be heard saying from the tree-shaded path that led down to the shore. "Who on earth would think that I was a truck driver anyway? I mean, really!"

"Calm down, Lucy," Tara's laugh followed just as the two women came into view looking very disheveled and awkward as they tripped and fell over the tree roots and sand. "We're here. We made it."

Jack turned around in his place my the public barbeque grill, charred black and rusty on the bottom with age. He could not help but smile at Lucy's outrage and Tara's broken sandels in her hand.

"How was the trip, sheilas?" Bobby asked from Jack's side, Sue having finally reclaimed her precious daughter to smear her over with sunscreen and let her dip around in the lake water in her blow-up baby ring that had bottom with small holes for her legs to hold her in. "And what have you done with our stickly little friend, Myles?"

"By the looks of her, I wouldn't be surprised if Lucy killed him," Demetrius said, moving on with his work of setting up a contractable pack-up tent for shade over the picnic table.

"Aww, Lucy, you shouldn't have," Bobby gushed, dropping the bag of bread on the picnic table and moving to throw an arm around both Tara and Lucy. "And you, Tara, being right there beside her...helping with the favor. You blessed souls, mates...done us all a favor, you have."

"Favor?" Jack asked with mock incredulity, seeing Myles making his way down the trail finally, struggling to walk over the uneven ground while carrying two beach bags that Tara and Lucy had obviously forced on him in return for their aggravation. "That's a civil service! Garrett will have to promote the two of you...pay raises and everything."

Lucy smiled grudgingly, patting Bobby's back and then stepping forward see what was on the grill. "Ah!" she moan hungrily. "I love grilled chicken...but there's not many strips, are there?"

"This is for you, Tara, Donna, and Sue," Jack answered, nodding toward the area in the water where Sue and Donna were talking while playing with the children, staying strictly within the area marked by the long yellow buoy to signal the safe shallow place for nonswimmers. Then he turned and nodded at the cooler full of ice and other groceries that he had carried down earlier. "She and Donna decided to bring salad stuff...they said something about it being good for hot days."

"Crazy women and their novel ideas!" Bobby cried in mock outrage, pulling his arm from around Tara and moving to lean on the picnic table next to where Demetrius was on his knees driving in a stake. "Don't they know that picnics and lakes are meant for hamburgers and hotdogs and cholesterol poisoning?"

Demetrius laughed quietly and shook his head humorously while the ladies rolled their eyes and turned to make their way to where their feminine comrades were splashing and laughing. Myles finally made it over to the picnic pit and dropped the bags in one corner, swearing agrily under his breath.

"How did I get stuck with the two moody females?" he demanded, barely pulling Jack's attention away from the grill, Demetrius's from the tent ropes, and Bobby's from watching Tara walking down the beach. "Please, enlighten me, my dear friends!"

"Simple," Jack answered, pulling the chicken tenderlions off of the grill and putting them on a paper plate. He pulled off two paper towels from a roll and wrapped them around the plate to protect from any dirt or pests. "Our car was full. Demetrius and Donna's was supposed to be until Danny decided to stay with his girlfriend for Memorial Day, Bobby was meeting us in the middle, and you offered."

Myles muttered something unintelligible and grabbed a bottle of water out of the smaller cooler that Bobby had brought, looking very annoyed when Bobby insisted on blocking his hand several times before allowing him a drink and then threw an ice cube at him.

"Oi! Your turn, mate," Jack called to Bobby in his best Australian accent. "Get that man-meat on the barbie before I tan your hide!"

Bobby stood from his place and crossed over to the grill, grabbing a few pre-made hamburger patties from a plate where Donna had stored them. Demetrius rose, wiping the sweat from his brow, finally finished with his task and moved to stand by Jack.

Pulling off his white t-shirt and laying it over part of the table bench, Jack looked at Demetrius conspiratorially. "So," Jack said seriously, eyeing both Bobby at the grill and Myles picking sand off of his bottle with a look of distaste. "Do you think that these two _bachelors _can hold down the fort, or should one of us stay to keep things running smoothly?"

"I just don't know, Jack," Demetrius sighed, playing along as they both recieved chilling glares from the objects of their joke. "No experiance...no expertise...oh, maybe Robby or Dem would be willing to come and look out for them in case..."

"Shut up and go swimming!" Myles commanded, grabbing a handful of ice and throwing it at them, his previous annoyance only feeding his temper.

Demetrius pulled off his gray gray t-shirt and laid it down next to Jack's and both men turned to followed the trail of children and women's footprints down the sandy shore. Jack could see Sue's slender form standing knee deep in the water next to Donna and he felt a warm sense of pride as he watched her lift Emmeline from her float and bring her close enough to place a gentle kiss on her wet face. The boys were now sitting on the shore where the waves kept the sand dark and mushy, trying to build sandcastles, but the water kept taking their hard efforts away every time.

"Jack, come here!" Sue called when she saw him, beckoning him forward, the smile still on her face.

Jack jogged a few yards in front of Demetrius obediently and splashed into the water to the point where she stood. Teasingly, he swooped down on little Emma and blew a raspberry kiss on her tiny belly. The happy shriek that resulted brought a smile to his face and he kissed Sue's cheek when their eyes met, unable to withstand the temptation for very long.

"You lot!" Bobby called after several minutes, waving the barbeque tongs in the air to get their attention. "Dinner's ready!"

Jack nodded and tapped Sue on the shoulder as she stood in the water, now reflecting the light orange and pink hues of the setting sun, dipping Dem into the water as he laughed, his unruly brother waiting for his turn. BOBBY SAY FOOD DONE, Jack signed, shifting Emma in his arm.

Sue nodded and began shooing the boys out of the water on the promise that they would return after they ate.

"Here, Sue," Donna offered, a wide smile on her kind face as Robby splashed her purple bathingsuit again. "Let me take these two up there for you! Goodness, I miss having children running around the house."

Sue nodded her thanks and signed to the boys quickly, telling them to follow Aunt Donna. Jack waited for Sue to draw up even with him before wrapping an arm around her smooth waist. His fingers brushed at her stomach and his mind returned to the news that she had given him just the night before. Another smile pulled at his lips again and Sue noticed.

WHAT? Sue asked with a soft smile of her own, moving her right arm from around his back and fitting it into the space between them as they walked so that only he would see easily.

I HAPPY, Jack answered, fingerspelling the words against her stomach then brushing it gently with his fingers, the strange feeling that he was touching both his wife and his new unborn child simultaneously resurfacing as it had during both of her last two pregnancies. I HAPPY. I LOVE YOU, SUE.

I LOVE YOU TOO, Sue answered before covering his hand on her abdomen with her unoccupied one.

"Come on you two!" Bobby shouted again and Jack felt a small hunk of bread bounce off of his head. "We can't bless the food until you grace us with your presence...or may we start without you?"

Jack smiled and rolled his eyes towards the darkened woods, hearing Sue laugh quietly at his side. But something among the darkening forestry caught his eye and Jack stopped in his tracks briefly. The black forms disappeared just as quickly as he had noticed them and strange feeling nagged at his chest; the picnic area was far too close to the wooded expanse for his comfort.

"What the matter?" Sue asked, looking up at his taut face, seeing his eyes still trained on the darkening trees and moving her head to see his lips for a reply.

"I think I saw something," Jack answered, only moving his lips. He quickened their pace up the shore towards the lit up circle that surrounded the picnic pit and he could feel Sue's questioning gaze on him, but could not bring himself to elaborate.

Sue was watching him worriedly when they finally reached the others and he felt a pang in his stomach that added to his discomfort. He had frightened her, but he had not wanted to lie to her; his eyes returned back to the trees with, only to recieve the same results. Two or three dark forms were lingering on the very edge of the forest, but they disappeared behind the trees when Jack saw them.

"Demetrius," Jack said lowly, ignoring Bobby's jokes as he handed Emmaline to Lucy and passed by the others with their curious expressions. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," Demetrius answered, seeing the dark look in his young friend's eyes. He stood from where he sat beside done on one of the wooden beams that outlined the picnic pit and followed Jack a little ways down the shore, away from the others. "What's up?"

"Wait," Jack answered, seeing Bobby, Myles, and Tara coming to join them while Lucy and Donna started talking to Sue as she called the boys to her and started putting on their clothes.

When the approaching trio met up with them to form a tight circle, Jack stared back into the woods. The figures were still there and by their shape, he knew that they were definately people. He could also feel them watching them; this time, they did not shy away.

"There's somebody in the woods," Jack said lowly, not surprised by their wide-eyed expressions. Thankfully, none of them turned and looked. "It looked like two people, at first, but now I think it's three."

"Where?" Demetrius said from his right side, his head tilted as though he was facing Jack but his eyes were roving over the darkening trees, as well.

"Two o'clock," Jack answered, wishing with all his might that the blasted sun would stop falling; darkness was the last thing that they needed. "About eight yards right of the picnic area...they're standing right at the edge about four yards from the trail."

"What can you see of them?" Tara asked.

"Not much," Jack answered, looking back to where they stood, far too close to his family, making every fiber of his being feel anxious. "They're too far away. I saw them when we were coming up from the water but they kept moving away. Now they're just standing there...I think they're watching us."

"I see them, too," Demetrius answered, shifting his bare feet in the sand as if it were any normal Memorial Day conversation. "There's three."

"Well," Bobby breathed, seeming nonchalant, but Jack could see the edge in his eyes. "I think that it's time to call this little outing a success and get back to D.C.."

Jack, Tara, and Demetrius nodded their agreement and moved back towards the picnic area. Sue sat on the far beam, looking towards the woods with an arm around each of her sons. Lucy still held Emmaline and Donna was cleaning up the uneaten meal, packing things up neatly.

"Hey, hunny," Jack said, touching Sue's elbow for her attention when they reached them again. "We're going. Just take Emma, me and Bobby will get the boys. Go straight to the car and get in." He pulled the keys to the SUV off of the table and handed them to her. "Lock the doors."

"Jack," Sue said, recieving Emma from Lucy and pulling her securely to her chest, her heart racing at Jack's expression. "I see them, too. What if they mean no harm? I mean, they could just be standing there."

"If they meant no harm, they would have tried to hide or just be standing there watching us," Jack answered, pulling a now quiet Robby into his arms and Bobby leaned around him and Sue for Dem. "Let's just go, hunny."

Sue made no further arguement and complied, leaving everything as it was. Demetrius was explaining everything to Donna in hushed tones and Tara and Lucy lingered near the far corner, waiting for the others to move. Sue saw Jack pull a gun and the wallet that held his credentials from the pocket of his shorts and Bobby and Demetrius did the same.


	3. Chapter 3

**First off, I would like to sincerely and gratefully thank Fanpire101, without whom this chapter may have never been written. Thanks so much for helping and wayward kick in the pants to get going! I think we'll keep this boat afloat, if it kills us. :)**

**Disclaimer: They are not mine so please don't sue and/or arrest me.**

**Also, thank you to cheliosfan, JaS2g, mo9526, and SailorJP for your reviews. Also, thank you to anyone else that has read and enjoyed, thus far.**

**I feel that I should warn any readers. I am having astronomical difficulties with writers' block, but swore that I would never leave a story unfinished. If this is a spotty and annoying chapter, please forgive me. I'm trying to get things straightened out. **

**This chapter shall be picking up one month from where I left off, but will explain what I had to skip over.**

**Warning: Some course language.**

The crunching, ripping, and crumbling sound that met Jack's ears only served to infuriate him more as he jerked his arm back, pulling his fist out of the hole that he had created in the wall. The sight of the hole made matters worse; but, then again, everything seemed to make matters worse, these days.

"You shut your mouth, you got that, Bobby?" Jack shouted, turning back on the tall man standing behind him, his fists clenching painfully into his palms, begging to be allowed one more angry swing. "You have no f- idea! Don't you come in here and tell me you're sorry! Don't you come telling me this bullshit!"

Bobby closed his eyes patiently, searching for his strength. God, this hurt so much, already; but the hatred and fury in his best friend's eyes made it so much more torturous. If it was hurting him this badly, Bobby could not imagine the breadth of suffering that Jack was enduring. He had to be patient. He had to be calm and understanding. Jack did not mean it...at least, he would not have under normal circumstances.

Lifting his downcast eyes once more to Jack's face, Bobby watched in silence as Jack began pacing back and forth, the full length of him seeming to quiver violently. He had to tell him; Jack deserved anything that Bobby could provide him with, even if it hurt. He had to be aware of the situation or Bobby knew that he would much worse off than he already was. Tough love was one thing...showing brotherly love that was agonizing to both involved was something else, entirely. Something indescribably horrible to withstand and have to live with.

"Jack, mate," Bobby went on softly when Jack's fists were not shaking quite as badly as before, his heart feeling as though it could not drop any lower and all of the energy sifting through his pores, leaving him. "Garrett's handing the case to ATF's unsolved files; there's nothing that we, or he, can do. We can't solve this, mate."

"Like hell, we can't!" Jack replied loudly, only a part of him registering the sounds of crying from the floor above them. "It's because an agent was involved! Damn it! As though being ordered on compassionate leave wasn't enough! Shit!"

"Jack," Bobby tried to explain, registering the distant sobs above them as those of two young boys. "We haven't been able to find anything on these guys...they're too careful...too patient to make sure that everything is untraceable." Bobby mets Jack's eyes that were glaring into his own, but not challengingly. He continued carefully, wishing that Jack could see that he was only trying to help. "Jack...maybe compassionate leave is the best thing, right now...yeah?"

"I don't need compassion," Jack seethed, smacking a hand on the light switch, casting them in the blackness of the basement that Jack and Sue had turned into their own joint home offices, years before, when such things had not seemed stupid and worthless. "I need to work. I need to find out who the hell is behind all of this and make them pay...You can keep your damned compassion...and that goes for everyone else."

Bobby was trying to be understanding; he knew that he could never imagine what was really going on. But this was too much.

"Yeah, mate?" Bobby spat back, leaping up the stairs that Jack was trudging up and forcing his way past to halt Jack's movements. "Well, you may not need it, but I know a few others in this house that do. Why don't you keep a hold on our 'damned compassion' and the fact that we give a shit...give it to Sue, and Robby, and Dem. You may not think that you need it, but they bloody well do!"

For a fraction of a second, Bobby thought that he saw Jack's expression soften to some semblance of his former self; but, if he truly had, it was gone too quickly to be certain. However, even the thought of it was encouragement, if only a shred.

Without another word, Jack pushed past Bobby and disappeared around the corner of the doorway that led out of their basement-office and into their kitchen.

Watching Jack move past Sue in the kitchen silently, Bobby felt his hope delve even lower when neither one seemed to even notice the other's presence. All he could do was pray for them, for all of them...Jack and Sue and their children...the team...and the tiny baby girl that seemed to have vanished into thin air that afternoon at the lake.

How could things have gone so wrong?

Slowly climbing the last few remaining steps, Bobby stepped into the kitchen. It was late. He didn't need to look at the clock to know that it was nearly eleven, if not later.

"Good night, Sue," Bobby bade her, tapping her shoulder gently for her attention.

Sue jumped at his touch, startled. That was just one more thing that had come of it; ever since that night, Sue had become much more timid and startled by those small things that was usually so natural for her: a sudden touch, or shiver beneath her feet, or the feeling of something quivering at her side. Sue was hardly the same bright and brilliant lady that they had all grown to love so much...more like a dim shadow of herself that managed to force a smile and put on a facade, but only for the benefit of their two other children. At least, she seemed always aware of the fact that there were still two little boys to raise that missed their little sister and just did not understand.

"Good night, Bobby," Sue replied, recovering from the sudden leap in her chest from being taken aware. She gently squeezed Bobby's hand before turning back to the sink of dishes. "...thank you."

YOU WELCOME, Bobby answered, signing, when he caught Sue's eye again, listening to the faint sound of music playing from the floor above them, in the boys' room.

Bobby remembered hearing them crying, then realized that Sue had obviously just put them to bed.

"Bobby," Sue said quietly, pulling Bobby away from his inspection of the patch of roof that would have led to his godsons' bedroom floor. She did not meet his eyes, not wanting a response...afraid of what it might be. "I don't know what Jack said...but he didn't mean it. He loves you...he loves the whole team...He just needs help remembering how to."

Bobby made no reply, but squeezed her hand, before leaving the kitchen and passing through the livingroom to the front door.

It seemed like just about everyone needed to learn that lesson, these days.

**Was that ok? I really hated to skip such a big part, but I really found myself in a bind and could not seem to get around it. Please let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story line.**

**As usual, thank you to Gremlinpugs, Huck05, Cool Breeze, Fanpire101, JaS2g, buzzing bee, SailorJP, and Bonbon for your reviews. Also, thank you to whoever else may have read and enjoyed.**

**Blame school, please...it's done everything short of eating me alive. I hope to be able to get a few more chapters out in a timely manner to get the plot that I have planned across, but I'll make no promises so that I cannot tell any lies.**

**Gremlinpugs: In answer to your question about "ATF Magnificient Seven", I'm sorry, but this is not a crossover story. Honestly, I've never actually heard of it, but I have heard of the Magnificient Seven western movie, but have never seen it. Sorry! :( As for the questions to disrupt my plot bunnies' peace, they will all be answered. However, as to the one about Levi, I'm just really bad about mentioning him when I don't visualize him in the scene. He was just supposed to be somewhere else in the house. Thank you for the questions, though, as they did stir up more thoughts! Stupid plot bunnies have been residing undisrupted for far too long. :)**

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><p>Jack closed his eyes quickly as the light from their bathroom flicked on, unwilling to submit to the sudden brightness disturbing the more forgiving darkness. Heaving an annoyed sigh, he turned his back towards where Sue was moving about quietly, preparing herself for bed. He knew that she was trying to be quiet, but still felt almost guilty at his annoyance with her not being quiet enough. Why was it that she never went to bed until he was finally asleep?<p>

As he heard the water from the sink begin to swish around and Sue brushing her teeth, Jack slowly lowered himself back into the pillows on his back, surrendering to the fact that he was not going to get back to sleep easily. Pulling the comforter around him more securely in the hopes that it would keep Sue from noticing him, Jack blinked his eyes several times to get them used to the change of light.

It seemed like years of having watched her this way, almost impossible to have been only a few weeks. Jack trailed his eyes over her form as she leaned over to rinse her mouth out in the sink, but the act was so different than it had always been before everything in their world seemed to have turned for the worse. Then, he had watched her admiringly, savoring the wonderful sense of pride that he felt as he first watched her as his new wife, then the several months of her carrying Robert and Demetrius. He had simply watched her being so unaware of how perfect she was to him, then as she carried Emmaline, and then as the beautiful mother of his children and the only woman that he ever wanted to watch prepare to come and lay at his side.

Jack let out a slow breath, employing much energy into the act of forcing thoughts of his daughter out of his mind, just for a few desperate moments. It was so difficult to feel human anymore. It was so difficult to feel so detached from the world and those that he loved when he wanted nothing more than to be completely enveloped in them. He hated the way that he watched her now, by no fault of her own, but by his fault.

Jack drifted his eyes over her form once more as Sue silently changed from her jeans and shirt into a set of pale blue pajama bottoms and matching shirt. Sue was getting very thin; he knew that she had always been on the thinly healthy side, but he could tell the difference. A part of him was frightened by that fact and he wondered back subconsciously to their previous experiences with pregnancy to try and estimate when the baby that she now carried should be starting to show. He had noticed several days ago, in a moment very like this one, that her eyes seemed very tired and a hint of purplish blue was beginning to form around them. She was not sleeping anymore than he was; by the sounds of her crying from down the hall that woke him on several occasions, perhaps even less than he was.

"Jack?" Sue's timid voice pulled him out of his revere and Jack inwardly reprimanded himself for allowing himself to be caught.

Jack merely pushed the covers back and met her eyes in reply, knowing that she would not see his lips enough to read by the light from the bathroom.

WHAT? Jack asked, finally, reaching his hand up into the dim beam of light to sign.

"N...nothing," Sue answered, switching off the bathroom light and making her way to the bed in the pitch blackness, nothing but the glowing numbers of their alarm clock to ensure her of the right direction.

She deaftly slipped under the covers and rolled onto her side, her back to Jack, saying no more. The tears were in her eyes, again; they were always there, it seemed, and she hated it. She hated what she had come. She hated fighting for sleep every night, only to rise in the morning with the sole purpose of trying to help her sons forget.

Was that terrible? Sue wiped at the unbidden tears at the thought of it. With such a loss and devestation that had fallen on their family, was it terrible of her to wish that it would only be like a bad dream to their sons that were still young enough to feel it as such. Even for the short time that they had been able to hold little Emmaline in their arms, she new how much her brothers loved her...how much she and Jack loved her. The loss was killing her...she felt it more and more every day...and she would not sit aside and watch as the loss of a prized baby sister took away anymore than it already had from her doting older brothers, even as young as they were. She had failed to protect and save their precious daughter...she would not fail her sons, too.

A sudden bright beam of light stung at her eyes, making the tears harder to control. Quickly, she turned to look at Jack in surprise as she felt the bed shifting beneath her. It only made matters worse. He was trying to appear calm and collected, his expression showing how hard he was trying to seem only patient, but sometimes she felt it would hurt less if he would just yell at her.

"Why do you always do that, Sue?" Jack asked, sitting up against the headboard and throwing the blankets off of him, pulling his knees up rigidly.

"Do what?" Sue replied, wishing more than anything that she could stop herself from being so weak as she brushed at her eyes and sniffed.

"Th...that!" Jack muttered, still trying to retain his calm, but the muscular spasm of his arms and hands giving away his frustration as he spoke. She watched as he took a few calming breaths, his eyes closed tightly. "Why is everything always 'nothing', or 'what', or 'nevermind', now? Why don't you just talk, anymore? Or sign, or something!"

It was difficult to startle Sue with anything anymore; her mind was far too numb to anything irrelevant to caring for her sons or longing for her daughter, but the small surprise that she felt showed. The mostly likely cause of having been startle was probably the fact that she had not yet thought of that issue; she had not known, nor did she have a real answer.

"I...I...I just...don't know of anything to say," Sue tried to explain slowly, her mind numb and protesting against the effort to conduct fruitless conversation.

WHY YOU NO SAY WHAT YOU THINK? Jack signed, mostly by habit rather than real thought or consideration.

"Because we both know what I'm thinking, Jack," Sue said, determined not to cry as she was forced to talk about this again. Never would she want to forget her daughter; but, why could she not have just one moment of some small degree of peace ever since it happened. Frustration began to gnaw at her too, irksomely paining some undeterminable region of her mind; she gave up. "Wha...what do you want me to say, Jack?"

Jack stared at her in near disbelief. _What did he want her to say? _"How about "Jack, I miss our baby', or 'Jack, I love her so much', or 'Jack, what can we do to get her back', or just acting like you give a crap anymore would suffice!"

Jack leapt from the bed as he said this, not thinking it wise to remain within close proximately of Sue's growing-ever-so-frail form while he could not seem to control the movements his arms made. He already felt like death would be an easier course, but accidentally harming Sue may be the thing that would drive him to it. What good would that do Emmaline?

"You think I don't care?" Sue suddenly screamed, flinging the covers off of her in a rage and throwing her legs off of the mattress. "How can you say that?"

That statement had been so much lower than she had thought Jack capable of.

"Don't act like that, Sue!" Jack replied and signed as he heard the sudden sound of crying from the hallway, trying to even his temper, knowing that his efforts would be useless if she could not read him. "I just don't think you're acting like you care! You go around the house everyday, cleaning rooms that aren't dirty, cooking, sleeping...what is that, Sue? Our daughter is missing, or worse, and you just go on like any other day!"

"Well, what else should I do, Jack?" Sue questioned, no longer able to control her emotions as the tears and sobs overtook her and forced her to her knees on the floor. WHAT ELSE I DO FOR OUR SONS! THEY NEED MOTHER...AND FATHER! SONS LIFE NO OVER! THEY STILL HERE THEY STILL NEED US!

"I know that, Sue...," Jack broke off midsentence, the sight of Sue in such a desperate position not only rendering speech useless, but breaking what small part inside of him that was still intact.

"God," he prayed silently, then realized he didn't deserve it for this. Forcing himself to calm as much as possible, he stepped towards Sue, each sob that he heard erupt from her causing him more tears and deeper wounds. How could he have done this? Why didn't she understand that he was not trying to hurt her?

"Sue," Jack muttered to himself, kneeling at her side and slipping a hand around her waist.

"No!" Sue shuttered, pulling out of his grasp and struggling to her feet. "Don't, Jack."

SUE, PLEASE, Jack signed, getting back to his feet, restraining his tears as her rage made his ambers of his temper stir inside of him.

NO, Sue signed, snatching at the knob of their bedroom door and escaping through it.

Jack followed her into the hallway with the intent of convincing her to stay, but the sound of her slamming the door of the bedroom across the hall from thiers stopped him. Staring at the door blankly for several seconds, the sound of their sons' crying recalled him and brought his steps down the hallway to the last bedroom at the end.

Dem and Robby were both in Dem's bed, huddled beneath the covers as Jack strode towards the sounds of their sobbing. Jack pulled the Batman covers back slowly so as not to frighten them, but the sight of Levi lying at the foot of their bed protectively and their faces as each held at their brother scared brought Sue's words crashing back down on him. They did still need them...and he had not been there for weeks, not the way he should have been.

The thought caused the tears Jack was holding to spill over as he sat on the edge of the miniature bed and pulled his sons into his arms, kissing their heads in turn, Levi hopping off and leaving his charges in Jack's capable hands to disappear out of the room. How the hell had this happened? How had it come to this? Guilt for hurting Sue, sorrow for taking his sons for granted in the shadow of thier loss, and longing for his baby overwhelmed him as he sobbed, holding the toddlers close to his chest.

"D...Daddy?" Dem gulped back his tears, pulling Jack's eyes open and his gaze towards the small boy's face. "Mommy cry...Mommy wan' Emma-wine."

"Daddy wan' Emma-yine, doo," Robby explained to his brother, wiping at his own tears with his tiny forearm. "See?...Daddy cwy."

Their words were innocent and meant for comfort, but they shattered Jack. Not responding to their conversation for fear of his emotions causing more damage, Jack slowly lay them back down and covered them up, allowing them each other's comfort in the same bed.

"Mommy and Daddy love Emmaline," Jack said slowly, kissing their heads again, and brushing the soft hair out of their faces as he sniffed back his own tears. "Just like the two of you love your little sister."

"Where Emme-wine?" Dem asked, wide-eyed, the fright from their parents' argueing nearly gone.

"I don't know, son," Jack admitted, wiping Robby's remaining tears. "But Daddy's going to find her...I promise you."

"Domorrow?" Robby asked, pulling the blankets up to his chin.

"I don't know that, either, Robby," Jack answered, the thought of his missing daughter and his planning to find her again coming back to him and hardening his reserve, once more. "But Daddy's going to find her, no matter what."

This seemed to satisfy the small boys and Jack turned from the room after another quick kiss for each and turning on their Scooby-Doo night light. In the hallway, Jack spotted Levi laying across the threshold of the room into which Sue had escaped...Emmaline's room. Composing himself from all tears, Jack pressed an ear to the door. Silence. Quietly, Jack pushed the door open to expose the room that he had looked at for nearly a month.

Even in the darkness with nothing but the moonlight to highlight some features, the pale pink walls, little flowery curtains, matching flowery bedclothes of the crib, and small soft pink toys were as effective as a blow to the stomach. Jack felt as though the air were knocked out of him, but, worse, was the sight of Sue, lying in the middle of the floor, one of the soft fleecy blankets from the crib clutched in a hand as she buried her face into it, her gentle sobs showing by the movement of her shoulders, though barely a sound could be heard.

Staring at her, Jack felt even more desperate than he thought possible. His temper had gotten the better of him and he had allowed his own sorrow to worsen that of the woman that he loved. His mind rambled for things to describe himself, but nothing was despicable enough.

Slowly, Jack's eyes fell on a folded up blanket in the corner, larger for the colder months. Reaching forward, he took the angel-soft material in his hands and unfolded it, sniffing back his emotions as he stepped towards Sue. He did not bother to try and be quiet or not allow her to be aware of his presence; she would feel his footsteps, anyways. She did...he notice her shoulders still suddenly as he took the first step, but moved on.

Lowering himself to his knees, Jack pulled the blanket gently over her form, wanting desperately to touch her so as to comfort her, but not allowing himself the comfort. He did not deserve it; especially not now.

"Thank you," he heard Sue whisper, her ragid voice almost inaudible.

Jack did not trust himself to speak, that had hurt too many people, already, that day. He settled for a kiss on her cheek. It was intended to be a brief one, only to acknowledge her words and beg her to know that he was sorry, but Jack found himself lingering and unable to pull away. When Sue made no movement, Jack dared to try and lower his lips to hers. He wanted so badly to comfort her, but he needed comforting, too. If only the comfort of her kiss, it was too difficult to feel both the anguish of what their world, their marriage, had become in only a few short weeks and the knowledge that he had hurt her so badly. If she would just let him try...

"Please go, Jack," Sue muttered, turning her face away, her voice becoming more broken than even before.

His heart felt like it was being crushed in a vice at her words, but he would not refuse her request. Pulling the blanket farther over her shoulders to ensure her warmth, the only comfort he seemed able to provide, Jack stood to his feet and disappeared through the door, closing it behind him.

A moment later Jack slumped back into the deepness of his favorite chair in the livingroom downstairs, resting his forehead in his hand. This chair had seemed to have taken over the role of best friend, as it seemed the only place that he could ever get any restful sleep, the place were he seemed to end up every night and the culprit behind the aching and paining every morning.

Why was that no matter what he did to try and comfort his wife, he only managed to hurt her further?

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><p><strong>Ok, if that was very depressing, I'm sorry. I'm trying to set the scenes here, but school is completely interfering and throwing my mind off track. I plan to write more soon as exams are finally over and I promise to explain more in those chapters.<strong>

**Thank you and please let me know what you think, this story is proving rather challenging to write. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews from cheliosfan, SailorJP, Cool Breeze, JaS2g, Gremlinpugs, Huck05, and dawnpritchard66 for your reviews and thank you to anyone else who may have read this story and enjoyed. **

**I sincerely apologize for my neglect to update sooner. This story is rife with writers' block.**

**Spoiler: Rocket Man**

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><p>"Well, what do you mean by 'it looks bad'?"<p>

Jack recognized Tara's voice the instant that he heard it from his place just outside the doorway into the bullpen, though it had been at least three weeks since he had last heard it. He could not explain why he had yet to pluck up the courage to just step through the doorway, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with the way his head and chest felt to be under such pressure that he would surely crumple to the floor soon.

"I may be going out on a limb, here…but, I would assume that he means just what he said," Myles's voice answered, his exasperated and condescending tone hitting Jack eardrums like nails on a chalkboard. "When the phrase 'it looks bad' is applied to a conversation over friends' marital relationship…it generally means that things look bad, or, to put it in other terms…things look to be going downhill."

"Myles, snip the sarcasm, will you?" Jack heard Lucy spit back at him, the distance of her traveling voice telling him that she was standing by Tara at her desk. "The last thing that we need is your two cents worth."

Jack heaved a large sigh, of aggravation or simply mental exhaustion, he could not differentiate. Great, now Sue and his marital problems were the talk of the bullpen. The thought caused him a large pang of sorrow that embodied itself as a sharp constricting pain in his throat. How many times had he overheard these same people discussing Sue and his relationship, only in a happier and more schematic method of matchmaking?

"Feeling a little bitter, are we, Lucy?" Myles taunted provokingly, bitterness thick in his own tone.

"Luce, don't answer that. Myles, just shut up, alright, mate?" Bobby's voice demanded before the argument could further itself into a more heated fight. "What's the matter with you?"

"What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you?" Myles scoffed and Jack heard the sound of his swivel chair rolling quickly as he stood up to his feet. "What's the matter with any of us? Lucy does nothing but sit around looking angry and only speaks to insult someone! Demetrius spends more time in his office than he ever has! Tara does nothing but look like she's going to cry all the time! And you do nothing but give us our daily forecast on the Hudsons like some kind of damned weatherman, then get pissed off when anyone has anything to say about it! And don't even get me started on what the real problem is…!"

"Myles, shut up! Bobby, back off! Lucy, sit down!" The sound of Demetrius's voice suddenly rang out and Jack supposed that he must have entered the bullpen from the side entrance.

Jack felt the pressure in his chest rising as he listened to his team, his friends, his family, arguing as though they hated each other. God, could nothing in his life go right? Did everyone really have to suffer for his mistake, his pathetic inability to protect his family? The next words that he heard Demetrius utter did little to make him feel any better.

"Look…we all miss Jack and Sue and what happened has effected us all," Demetrius's voice said forcefully. "But is this really what they would have wanted? If they were here, hearing you all arguing like this, I think they'd give everyone of you a good punch in the face. This has gotten ridiculous!"

"What's gotten ridiculous is how unprofessional all of you are behaving," a male voice that Jack did not recognize interjected. "Really, crap happens and we have to move on. So you're friends are having a hard time, right now…should you really let it effect your work and the work environment?"

"Listen, here, you little drongo…," Jack heard Bobby start and the others sounded as though they would soon fall into an uproar, but he decided that he should probably intervene before everyone lost control of their tempers.

"I would shut my mouth, if I were you," Jack stated firmly, turning around the edge of the doorway and into the room, his words directed towards the young man sitting at Sue's desk fueled by both his anger for the team's sake, his own sake, and that of his family's.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Tara's voice asked from directly beside Jack; one quick look towards her and Jack instinctually offered her a handkerchief to dry her eyes with.

"'Jack'? Ah, Jack Hudson," the unwelcome stranger at his wife's desk said as though coming to some enlightening conclusion after glancing at the nameplate that still inhabited his desk. "You do realize that while on compassionate leave, you aren't supposed to enter the Hoover Building, don't you?"

"Please, give me an example of the consequences, I beg you," Jack replied, stepping dangerously close as the man stood to his feet.

It was a dangerous position that he was putting himself in and Jack knew it, but it was so difficult to hold back when hearing this man so blatantly disregard his team, his family, and himself. On top of it all, having the audacity to sit at and employ the desk of the woman who had lost her child whom he was paying not the smallest sympathy. He was perfectly aware of the fact that his nerves had him constantly on edge with the majority of people, these days, but Jack could not withhold the impulsive desire to knock this cocky man to the floor and force him regret his insensibilities.

"Jack," The gentle touch on his arm just over his twitching bicep called him back as Lucy pulled at him ever so gently. "Come on…don't pay him any mind."

Jack withstood her for several moments, taking a dark pleasure in the nerves that he saw in the man's eyes. If he was not to be allowed the pleasure of striking any man that did what he perceived to be an insult to Sue, then he would take what he could get.

"Jack, come on and sit down, mate." Bobby's voice would brook no refusals as his hand replaced Lucy's over his arm and Jack forced the anger that felt to be drowning him down into the pit of his stomach. "Lucy, get him a cup of coffee, would you, love?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack subconsciously saw Lucy nod and move over to the coffee table as Bobby released his arm and he took the seat behind his desk, or what was normally his desk.

"You have one more time, Wise," Jack heard Demetrius's voice from the corner where he had pulled the offending intruder, chewing him to pieces. "One more word from you that causes even a rift in this team and you're out. You seem to forget that you're here on a trial basis and only to fill in while our other two members are gone. Making it out of Quantico doesn't mean that you're guaranteed a space if you continue to make trouble for people."

"Who is this guy, Bobby?" Jack asked lowly as Bobby leaned over his desk, accepting the cup of steaming black liquid that Lucy offered him.

"Rookie fresh out of Quantico," Bobby explain under his breath, the bullpen having fallen virtually silent in the wake of Demetrius's current authoritative rampage and Jack's former quivering rage. "He was assigned to the team about a two weeks ago just to help out while you and Sue aren't here, but he's done nothing but cause loads of grief. I thought Myles was going to shoot him square in the down-under, yesterday, if you know what I mean."

"You're honestly over here blessing me out while he was the one that nearly attacked me?" Wise argued, making what everyone knew to be a very wrong decision by taking a step closer to Demetrius.

The sight of the arrogant young man made Jack nearly sick to the stomach, but obviously he was not the only one angry at the view.

"I suggest you realize who you're talking to and take a step back," Myles suddenly spat, leaping from his desk and striding across the room to where Demetrius and Wise stood.

But Demetrius held up a hand to stop Myles in his tracks. "Thank you Leland, but I'll take care of this. Wise, consider your employment with this team terminated, effective now. I'll have the paperwork completed and turned into Garrett by the end of the day. Gather your things now remove yourself to Personnel."

Jack watched with no small amount of satisfaction as the not-so-wise Wise gathered his few things from Sue's desk and created a one-man stampede out of the bullpen and down the hallway.

After a moment of silence at Wise's infuriated exit, Jack listened numbly to Myles's mumblings of 'good riddance' and Bobby cursing under his breath as Lucy and Tara passed each other tell-tale looks and Demetrius took a seat at the desk behind Sue's that he had always used.

Listening to the sounds of the team as they got back to work on whatever assignment they may have, Jack halfway wished that they would forget that he was even present. There was a strange soothing effect on his nerves from the sounds that he had for so long taken for granted when he heard them everyday. The hum of keyboards tapping, papers being turned, computers buzzing, markers squeaking on the dry erase board, and Bertha brewing the next pot of coffee in the corning met his ears like a welcome melody, opposed to the oppressing silence that he now constantly heard at home, interrupted only by the sounds of sorrow, anger, bitterness, or the occasional innocent childish laughs that did not fully comprehend the severity of their situation.

Maddeningly, Jack felt guilty for taking pleasure in even something so small as the sounds of the office. Sue should have been here with him. He wished that she were here with him and had wanted to ask her to come, but knew that she was not ready for it. It was all for the best, it seemed, however, after witnessing the terrible performance that Wise made of provoking Jack and nearly the whole of the team. It would have only torn Sue to shreds to witness it and he was glad that he had at least spared her that.

"Jack," Demetrius interrupted his brooding silence and Jack looked up, noticing that the team's attention had not been fully distracted from his presence. They seemed to be waiting for him. "Jack…what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you…and Garrett," Jack answered, returning his gaze to his coffee mug and running his thumbs over the untouched brim. "I wanted to stop in and say hello to everyone."

Silence followed his claim, but Jack could not say that he was surprised by this. He hardly knew what to say; his team was too much of a family to him and knew him too well to say anything, they knew even better than he did that most of the time, understanding silence was the best comfort. It was just one more reminder of how much he missed them, of how much he missed Sue and his life carrying on as it had, spending all day everyday with their family…one at work, and then at home, and many times intertwining the two. He could not sit at home for much longer in idle uselessness, it had become his own cage.

"Well, then," Demetrius finally replied, standing and signaling for Jack to follow him in the hallway. "Let's talk…I'll walk you to Garrett's office."

Jack follow obediently, thanking God for the millionth time for Demetrius's discretion and consideration to not make a spectacle of things.

"What is this about, Jack?" Demetrius asked as they weaved their way down the crowded hallway, keeping his voice low to prevent any eavesdropping for his young friend's sake.

"I want to come back to work, D.," Jack answered, getting the distinct feeling that Demetrius already suspected that.

He was right. Demetrius discretely opened the door of an empty conference room off to the left and led Jack inside.

"Jack, I don't think that that's a good idea," Demetrius answered after securing the door behind them. "Jack…it's just too soon."

"It's not too soon!" Jack insisted, refusing to be subdued by Demetrius's quelling tone. "I can't do this anymore! I have to do something!"

"Jack, throwing yourself into work won't help anything," Demetrius stated firmly, a wall not to be moved, but then his tone became more understanding. "Look…I can't imagine what you and Sue are going through, right now, and I won't pretend to. But I do know what it's like to be a father and lose a child…even if they weren't born, yet…and that takes time to heal. Working won't solve the problem, Jack, it'll only distract you from it for a little while."

"I need to be at work, D.!" Jack urged, his desperation for Demetrius's support fuming inside of him. "I'm never going to be able to find my daughter if I have no access to anything! Please, D., help me out with this."

Jack expected Demetrius to argue, to try and dissuade him, but he did not expect the shocked stare from his friend and superior that he received. The look upon his face spoke of all shock, concern, and realization.

"Jack," Demetrius finally went on, stepping towards Jack carefully as Jack's temper did nothing but skyrocket. "You need to go home…you need to go home and be with Sue and the boys."

"Be with Sue and the boys?" Jack asked incredulously, his frustrations becoming too much for him and he began to fall apart at the seams. "How can I be there for Sue when she won't let me? How can I be there for my sons when I can hardly look them in the eye, because I'm the reason that they lost their little sister? Sue won't let me near her! I've tried and everything I do just turns into a disaster!"

"Jack…," Demetrius tried to quiet him as he completely lost control.

"What kind of f- father am I?" Jack smoldered on, beginning to pace the room and his entire being began to clench tightly in the effort to not strike out at something, anything. "I couldn't protect my little girl and my whole family is suffering for it! My wife doesn't even look me in the eye anymore and I don't deserve to look her or my sons in the eye…because it's MY fault that Emmaline is gone! MY fault that they her! MY fault that I lost her!"

"Jack!" Demetrius shouted loudly, grabbing him roughly when Jack finally lost control and swung towards the wall, wrapping his arms around both of his own to immobilize him as he pulled him back. "Calm down, Jack! This isn't your fault!"

"Then who's is it?" Jack demanded, forcing his freedom. "Who's is it! And why won't you just help me find my baby!"

"Jack," Demetrius answered breathlessly, tiring of seeing his friend in such turmoil. "You know that I want to help you. I love Emmaline…and you, and Sue, and the boys. But we've done everything that we can and exhausted every lead we had. It's ATF's case and they had the say-so on this. There's nothing else that we can do."

Jack stood in silence for several seconds after Demetrius's words, the actuality of facts that he did not want to hear being forced on him.

"So where does that leave us?" Jack asked, his rage dimming to embers but his anger and desperation just wanting answers and his defenses completely fell. "Why her, Demetrius? Why did this happen? She was such a beautiful little girl," Jack sobbed, falling to his knees. "She…she…would've been just like Sue…she was so…sw…sweet. Why would anyone…take…take our baby? S…Sue…and the boys…they don't deserve this. Emma…Emmaline doesn't…deserve this!"

Demetrius's hand closed around Jack's shoulder as he dropped to his knees at his side, offering what comfort he could. Jack's hands reflexively clenched together and he lowered his head to rest on them against the carpet of the conference room floor as the sobs ravaged him, ripping away all hope and tearing his heart from his chest, fiber by fiber.

"Dear, Lord," Jack heard Demetrius pray, as though from some great distance, as his own grief filled his ears. "Please, God…help him." Some inner region of his brain registered the sorrow and cries that he heard in Demetrius's own voice as he went on, and some small piece of Jack's soul must have remained, for it turned it's attention solely onto Demetrius's prayer, clinging to it with everything he had left within him. "Please, God…be with Jack…and Sue…and Dem and Robby…and…most of all…be with Emmaline. Please…give them peace."

Some time later, Jack found the strength to stand, Demetrius over him as the faithful companion. Giving Demetrius a brotherly embrace of thankfulness for the strength that he offered him, Jack followed him out of the conference room and into the hallway, clearing his face of any signs of his distress.

"Tell the team I said 'goodbye' for me?" Jack asked as he gave Demetrius's hand a final shake.

Demetrius nodded, bidding Jack goodbye and Jack turned back down the hallway to where the elevator was situated into the wall. Stepping into it's already-open doors, he added the button to the parking garage to the list of other lit buttons.

When the lift finally arrived at his destination, Jack strode towards their white SUV, some part of his subconscious using the methodic clapping sound of his shoes against the concrete to help him clear his mind and his jumbled thoughts and overwhelming emotions until he could produce some semblance of an organized thought.

Demetrius had been right, about everything. Well, almost everything. This was going to take time to heal and delving into work would not help accomplish that. Sue, Robby, and Dem needed him now, more than ever…and he needed them. But he had been wrong about more than one thing: it was his fault that he had not been able to protect his daughter, his duty as a father and a husband…and there was definitely more that could be done to get her back.

If ATF and F.B.I. would not exhaust their extensive forces to do more, then he would; he'd do whatever it took.

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><p><strong>Alright, that ended out being a little longer than I had planned, but once I finally got going, it was out of my hands (metaphorically, of course, as I am typing). As per usual, please review! This is proving a very difficult challenge to write and reviews make it easier to determine if I'm going in the right direction or completely off the mark. <strong>

**Thank you to everyone and a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: It's not mine.**

**As always, a thanks to 71cottes, Lienn, JaS2g, Cool Breeze, Anony-Mousy, Gremlinpugs, and Fanpire101 for your reviews and also thank you to those that may have read and enjoyed. **

**Just a few things before I begin, if I may. Anony-Mousy and Fanpire101…thank you both so much for all of the help you have both given to aide in my writing of this next chapter and kicking me back on track! I honestly don't think that this story would end out worth reading without both of your guidance and help! Thank you a million times over, to both!**

**Cool Breeze: I am afraid that I completely missed the mark that I had been wishing to hit, in respects to Demetrius. I did not mean to make it seem as though he could not fathom the need for Jack to find his daughter, but just show that after about a month, everyone's hope seemed to be dwindling away and Jack is holding stubbornly on. I don't believe that Demetrius could ever be so insensitive as to not understand Jack's dire need to find his daughter, especially being a father himself…I just meant to more present how much Demetrius sympathizes for Jack when he thinks that all hope is lost and Jack just can't let go. You are so correct in that it is impossible to heal while things are not concluded; but, even being a parent, it would be impossible to fully fathom how horrific a feeling the loss of a child would be until it happened to you. Demetrius is probably the most understanding character in the show, but I only meant to show how the whole team is suffering from their loss of hope for little Emmaline and their friends. I'm so sorry for the misrepresentation and I hope that I do better in the future chapters!**

**Lastly, I just wanted to promise everyone a happy ending. I realize that this story is pretty rough; it is to write, too. However, despite everything, I promise to never end my stories with an ending that is not happy.**

**Now, after this ridiculously long Author's Note that I'm certain the majority has skipped over (rightfully so), here we go!**

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><p>Jack pulled out of the Hoover Building parking garage, his mind setting firmly on where he must go next. Demetrius had been right; going back to work would do nothing but distract him temporarily from his problems, and that would not do. He did not need distractions, anymore; he needed focus. Things had to be done differently, because what he had been doing was useless and counterproductive.<p>

It was a slightly invigorating feeling, to sense his F.B.I special agent mode kicking it, but it was a whole new sort of determination that Demetrius had offered him. Things needed to be taken care of. He needed to be there for his family, and do that by stopping his fruitless sulking and putting everything that he had towards finding his daughter. He had to find her. He had to find her for Sue and the boys; he had to find her for himself.

Jack swallowed hard as he watched the traffic passing by and slipped into the west-bound lane at his first opportunity; he had to find Emmaline for her. His baby was in trouble and no fiber in his being would let him rest until she was safe again, in his arms, even if he must die in the process.

Accelerating the gas, Jack pressed on down the street as quickly as the traffic would allow, his eyes tracing over the looming figure of the Edgar. J. Hoover Building as he passed it's length, his gaze grazing over the windows that he knew to be the ones in the bullpen. He had dedicated so many years of his life ensuring justice for every person that he possibly could. He would be damned before he did not find justice for his innocent baby daughter.

Clearing his throat to halt the tears that threatened in his eyes, Jack returned his gaze to the back end of the red minivan in front of him. First things first, Hudson. Find out why ATF stamped this case COLD.

Jack slammed the glass door of the Alcohol Tobacco and Firearm Bureau behind him as he stormed out, his temper only heightening when he heard someone exiting behind him catch the door before the loud banging that his temper so needed to hear, only to call after him.

"Hudson!" Mickey's voice called as the sound of his jogging footsteps grew ever closer. "Jack…wait."

"Don't tell me to wait, Mick," Jack answered, turning on Mickey Long as he felt his hand touch his shoulder. "You're wasting my time."

"Jack, just listen to me," Mick replied, releasing Jack's shoulder at Jack's furious gaze on his own. "I'm just trying to follow my orders…I'm sorry, Jack, but with you being a special agent with the F.B.I., I'm not authorized to give you any information on cold cases that my superiors have put off."

"What about as a father that is looking for his daughter, huh?" Jack nearly shouted back, lowering his voice to a dangerous growl between gritted teeth only as a group of men in suits that he recognized to be just a few of the proverbial higher-ups of nearly all federal agencies passed by. "My daughter is not a case to be closed up and marked as COLD when the leads start running low…."

"No, Jack," Mick argued, grabbing Jack's arm forcefully to guide him to the side of the large white stone panel of steps, avoiding prying ears. "Leads weren't just running low…they completely disappeared. We have nothing except a few similar cases in the general area of the entire East coast of the United States!" Mick's voice began to rise from a murmur to nearly spitting his words between his teeth with his temper at Jack's inability to see sense. "Why are you not getting this?"

Jack's gaze fell on Mick's, his expression nothing short of disgusted. "And why are you not getting that I'm not going to let this go?"

"Jack!" Mick began, but Jack interrupted him determinedly, stepping forward until Mick was forced to backtrack up the next step until his back was against the stone wall railing.

"Are you really so stupid as to think that I would believe this case to be unsolvable after one month!" Jack spat, his fists clenching in his jeans pockets. "One month! One month the F.B.I. and ATF have looked for her, and all of a sudden, 'case closed-things have gone cold'? This kind of thing is my job! Do you honestly think that I don't know just as well as anyone that something is the matter with this picture? There is still some gang of people out there, kidnapping babies…and it's 'case cold'? First it was that baby in Tennessee, then a two year old from Maine…and now _my _daughter and who knows what next, but they decide the case is unsolvable, even though this is a lasting problem and children are still in danger! Who's in charge of this case, anyway?"

Mick sighed angrily, sidestepping Jack to retreat from the corner he had been forced in. "Jack, we've known each other a long time and worked together a lot…but there is nothing I can do. I am so…so…sorry for your loss…but do not put me between a rock and a hard place. My hands are tied! This is not my decision; it's out of my hands."

"Then whose hands is it in?" Jack demanded, but received no reply from Mick.

Taking a moment to calm himself, Jack decided on a different route.

"Get me the case file," Jack said simply, not surprised by the look of shock and then pure scandalized realization at what he was asking.

Mick turned his back momentarily, raking one hand through his hair agitatedly before returning his gaze to Jack's with an astounded and disbelieving smile on his face. "You can't be serious, Jack."

"I'm perfectly serious," Jack answered, his stony expression not faltering as he took one step up closer to where Mick had retreated.

"Do you have any idea what you're asking of me…no, don't answer that…of course you do," Mick floundered, stepping down to meet Jack eye-level. "You're asking me to put my job on the line for this…I can't believe you'd even…."

"I'd do it for you, if it were Kaitlyn," Jack stated, meeting Mick's eye. "And don't even take me lightly, because you know that I would."

Mick dropped his gaze to the toes of his polished leather shoes that stuck out from beneath his pressed suit pants standing not a foot from Jack's black tennis shoes sticking from beneath his jeans. Desperation clung painfully in Jack's chest as he watched the blonde head of a man that he had worked side-by-side with so many times in his career shaking in indecision. Though not as much as he had with Bobby, Demetrius, or even Myles, Jack and Mick had been through their share of hard times together and came out supporting each other to the end…far too many times for Mick to turn his back on him now. Not in his most dire time of need; he couldn't.

"Jack…," Mick finally replied, not lifting his gaze to return Jack's, but looking out to the side over the commuter-filled sidewalk and street and the park that was situated just beyond. "Don't ask me to do this…because I have a family to take care of." Mick shook his head one last time, meeting Jack's eye with a look of anger that would never cloak the underlying shame that Jack saw there as he felt the hope that had been inspired in him ebbing away. "I'm sorry, man…but I can't."

With that, Mick turned back up the stairs and passed through the darkened glass doors, leaving Jack nearly breathless as the woes of the world swooped down on him, all at once. His fists clenched and unclenched stiffly at his sides as his body, mind, and conscious all seemed to wage war against each other. His body wished to lash out…to run to the four corners of the world until he found his baby, destroying anyone or anything that dare get in his way. His mind was reeling incessantly, never straying from the thoughts of what he must do, what measures he must take and what avenues he must next travel in the search for his daughter, while all the while raging against Mick and his refusal to give him what he needed the most. But his conscious was winning out…despite the reaction of his mind and body as they incinerated every thought of Mick's refusal to help him…there was still the tiny voice in the back of his mind reminding him of what exactly he was asking: a man to put his and his family's livelihoods on the line for him. No matter how much he knew that he would still have done it for Mick, he had to remind himself; Mick had a family to care for, too…one that was not falling to shambles and needed to stay that way.

It took what felt like hours, but must have been only a minute or two, before Jack could find it inside of him to turn away empty-handed. Feeling as though a ten ton weight had been dropped on his shoulders, Jack felt the physical drain causing his shoulders to sag as he made his way back down the stone steps from the ATF building and onto the sidewalk.

Making his way down the sidewalk, his footsteps fell into beat with those of the D.C. commuters around him, his ears filled with the sounds of the city during the midmorning rush and the hundreds of different conversations that seemed to be taking place as people turned every which way, so unaware of those around them. Looking up from his view of the paved walk as his shoes kicked in and out of his sight, Jack's eyes wandered to those around him.

Just in front of him strode a young woman, pretty, but obviously all-too aware of that fact, chatting obnoxiously on the phone as she threw a red handbag over her shoulder. Nothing in comparison to his Sue, so unaware of how perfect she was and oblivious to the admiring glances that she was prone to receiving that had always aggravated him to no ends.

Turning his gaze discretely to the right, his eyes fell on an elder couple, perhaps in their sixties or so, arms linked together as they made their way down the sidewalk. The gentleman's other arm wrapped protectively around his wife waist and they were falling behind the swarm of people in the hurried crowd but they seemed so…Jack looked for the word...content. Happy.

God, he could not stop thinking about her, even in the wake of all other disaster in their world.

That thought and the sight of the smiling and wholly satisfied couple in all of their elder and wizened happiness caused the large hand gripped around his vitals to squeeze even harder. How many years had he been so blissfully unaware of Sue and himself walking that way, even before they had moved beyond friendship? How many times had they both been so happy that nothing around them mattered, just the fact that they were in each others company? All to be destroyed in one night…one trip to one lake, where so many happy memories were said to have been planted in that same stretch of land and water.

Jack cleared his throat when he noticed that his pace had slowed to a near stop and quickened his feet, turning a swift right when he reached an intersection and headed back in the general direction of where he had parked their sedan. His mind fell back to the idea of the daily commuters; how could so many people live their lives side-by-side and be so unaware of each other? Why was it that nobody took any notice of those around him? Why was it that he had only just begun to? Why was it that it took a tragedy to make people see the world in a whole new light?

Plunging his hands into his pockets, despite the mild weather of the day that he would have normally relished in, Jack escaped the busy streets by ducking into the next little shop that he spotted. It was a bookstore, but it was quiet.

Becoming more aware of his surroundings as his eyes adjusted to the darker atmosphere, Jack took in the sight of the dank little bookshop and its few patrons. His eyes fell on a nearby metal rack full of the day's Washington Post. A story caught his eye. _**Kidnapping Outside D.C.**_. Well, he had to start somewhere.

Quickly paying the shop owner for the newspaper, Jack turned back out of the shop in the direction that he had previously been taking. Glancing down at the headline again, the agent inside of him became enthralled in the only thing that he had yet been able to find that may be even slightly related to his daughter's disappearance, causing him to stop his progress amongst the crowd abruptly, inevitably leading to the short fidgety man in his wake to running straight into him.

"I'm sor…," Jack began as he turned, but stopped short at the sight of the familiar man brushing off the hat that he had just retrieved from the ground, dusting the small yellow feather that stuck from beneath it's leather bind. "Howie?"

"Uh…eh…my Jackie, boy," Howie answered, immediately pulling Jack into an unreciprocated one-armed hug, his face all smiles. However, at the grave expression that remained upon Jack's countenance, Howie's disposition sobered, as though just recalling what had completely enveloped Jack and nearly all of those around him. "How ya' been, Jack? I…ummm…heard wha' happened a few weeks back. I jus'…I jus' wan' ya to know, man…I'm real sorry. Emmaline was a sweet lil' girl…but ya' know we're gonna get 'er back, Jackie."

"Were you following me, Howie?" Jack asked emotionlessly, immediately recognizing the nervous twitchiness of Howie's movements that differentiated between normal Howie fidgetiness and Howie's dishonest fidgetiness.

Howie immediately sighed at having been caught, passing his eyes around the crowd of people surrounding them, then gave Jack's arm a little push to urge him forward in the direction that Jack had been going.

"I saw ya' at the ATF buildin'," Howie began to explain as he and Jack reached the parking garage at the corner of the next intersection and entered it. "I was gonna talk come up an' talk to ya', but then I saw ya' arguin' with tha' guy with the badge an' decided not to."

"What were you doing at the ATF building, Howie?" Jack asked, noticing the strange gray jumpsuit uniform embroidered with silver letters that obviously stood for some unknown company and then Howie's name that Howie had donned, a puffy gray windbreaker jacket, to match.

"I was workin'," Howie answered, as though that were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is this going anywhere, Howie?" Jack finally had to ask, his exasperation peaking as he unlocked the doors of his sedan and tucked his prized newspaper under the unfolding armrest. "If not, I'm kind of busy."

"Naw, Jackie…," Howie answered, climbing into the passenger's seat uninvited and making himself comfortable, his expression growing more and more conspiratorial and delighted by the second. "You are gonna love this!"

"What am I going to love, Howie?" Jack relented, twisting the key in the ignition a little more forcefully than was necessary and pulling his restraining belt on.

"Well, when I saw the two's of ya arguin'," Howie went on, pulling on his own seatbelt, much to Jack annoyance, though he really could not say why. "I couldn' help but overhear wha' it was 'bout, ya' see?"

"You never can, can you, Howie?" Jack replied, his mind drifting off to the article in the paper that he was dying to read, and his tongue and temper getting the better of him as he slipped into his natural sarcasm with Howie's antics. "Where do you want me to drop you off?"

The look of hurt in Howie's expression was so acute once Jack noticed it, due to his uncharacteristic silence, that he immediately began to feel even worse than he had before. His mind turned immediately to Sue and what she would have thought of his treatment of the awkward little guy. No matter the circumstances, she had always seemed to make him feel bad for how short he was with Howie, even now. Sue would have disapproved, and he just could not bear the idea of any more disapproval from her.

"I'm sorry…," Jack apologized, pulling out of the parking space and directing the SUV towards the exit. "What is it that you were saying?"

"It's alrigh'," Howie replied, his former squirmy excitement returning. "You're havin' a bad time, righ' now….Anyway, I heard tha' ya was wantin' the case file to lil' Emma's disappearance and how he wasn' givin' it to ya'…well, I would'a thought tha' bein' in the F.B.I., an it bein' your daughter, an' all, tha' ya would'a had access to it…but…well…."

It took only a split moment for realization to dawn on Jack and he slammed the brakes, stopping them violently in the middle of the garage, turning to Howie with nothing less than shock. The feeling only deepened as he watched Howie begin to pull something large and bulky out of the inside of his uniform jacket. Only then did Jack realize how misshapen Howie's oversized jacket was.

"Howie…you didn't," Jack breathed, wide-eyed with wonder as Howie presented to him a messy pile of papers, out of order and in complete disarray, as though someone had uncurled a whole mess of paper balls.

"Well…I've gone on the straigh' an' narrow like you's guys asked me to…an'," Howie flustered, checking his large jacket for any stray sheets and stacking them messily on the folded down armrest. "Well…got me a job wit' a documen' destroyin' company. Ya' know…the kind tha' destroys records an' such for hospitals, nursin' homes, police stations, an'…federal agencies."

"Howie," Jack repeated, feeling utter flabbergasted as he pulled into another space to investigate the papers that Howie had laid before him.

"Well…is' the leas' I can do," Howie finished, his expression saddening beyond anything that Jack had ever witnessed from him before. "You an' Sue's been good to me. The whole team has…an' I love ya' guys. An'…believe it or not…I love ya' families, too! I jus'…well, when I heard tha' ya' needed it like ya' did…I remembered seein' it and feelin' so sad when I did…tha' I didn' want to destroy it…then I realized tha' I could get it to ya'."

Jack flipped through the papers quickly, turning his back and instinctually doing his utmost to cover the documents from the cameras that were certain to be around in a public parking garage and subconsciously thankful that Howie was sitting in the same position. The feeling rushing around inside of him was almost dizzying as Jack's eyes skimmed the papers rapidly, his mind naturally taking in so much information that had previously been kept from him and even his team, as they had already told him all they knew about the case, and he never once had doubted that, at least.

"Howie…," Jack began, his mind still reeling as a desperate need to get home and into his and Sue's basement office overtook him, though tears of excitement and bittersweet happiness threatened. Finally, he met the much smaller man's eyes and, for once, felt utterly and entirely indebted to them man whom had caused and received so much grief from the team. "I will…never…be able to thank you enough for this."

Howie gave a sort of uncomfortable laugh and shifted in his seat, but seemed rather pleased with himself.

"Well, tha's not all," Howie answered, causing Jack's shock to resurface. "Let's go to Otis's house…I think he has somethin' he thinks ya' may find handy."

Without another thought, Jack gathered the papers into a large pile and shoved them beneath the driver's seat. Twisting the keys in the ignition, once more, they were off.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, so there it is. As always, I would love, love, love, to know what everyone thinks and any suggestions that anyone may have! Thank you for reading and next chapters to come soon! I promise not to be sparse on the updates, thanks to Fanpire101 and Anony-Mousy! :D<strong>


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